One of the benefits of being married is that you are never going to be “dumped” again (theoretically). For those lucky few that, like Jennifer Aniston’s character on Friends, have never been dumped before, it sucks. Not only is your world turned upside down, your routine disrupted and a connection broken, but you as a person have been rejected. There is something about you (or more than one something) that is so terrible that someone has decided that they cannot be anywhere near you anymore.
As if that isn’t enough, afterwards you end up in a huge fog for a prolonged period of time which stretches out the pain. You can’t bear to face the world because everything is a reminder of that other person. There’s the place you went on your first date, that was the bowling alley that you ‘accidentally’ bumped in to her, that cloud looks like her face, the left over corn flakes in the cereal bowl come together and look like his dog. It is so hard to get past the dumping when you keep dwelling on it.
Being married for 10 years made me forget what that really feels like. Sure there have been some occasional bumpy times at work that kind of made me feel like I had been dumped, but it was nothing compared to the other day. I got a page from Susie the other morning and I called her right back. I could tell right away from the tone of her voice that something was wrong. I was talking with her, so I knew that she was alright. My mind immediately jumped to the kids. What had happened to them? But before I could open my mouth to speak those words, Susie came right out with it. A swift and crushing blow. I had been unceremoniously dumped. The Ke$ha concert in Indianapolis was cancelled.
Now you may be asking yourself, why is a grown man with good job and a good family so destroyed by the canceling of a concert with this glitter-covered, grubby, pop princess whose style is self described as “garbage chic”? I’m not too proud to say that I am a huge fan. I know pretty much every song, word for word. What can I say? Her songs have funky hooks, snarky lyrics and a driving bassline. I’m hooked!
I was really looking forward to this concert. While I love music, I haven’t really been to a lot of concerts, mainly because there were not that many acts that I liked enough to spend the money to go see them. I hadn’t been this excited to see a concert since the first concert I ever paid to attend. Stone Temple Pilots came to Purdue my sophomore year and I couldn’t have been more excited. I knew all of the songs and their performance did not disappoint. To this day it is probably the best concert I have ever been to. I compare every concert that I go to (which admittedly is not that many) to that STP concert and none has ever come close. (The only thing one that comes close was when Veruca Salt came to Broad Ripple to play at The Patio. That was really awesome, except I had a some kind of medical school exam the next day, so I had to leave before the encore. Plus, the STP concert had the benefit of some people around us mercilessly heckling the opening act, Cheap Trick.) But I had a feeling that the Ke$ha show was going to come close because just like then I was invested. I knew all of the songs and felt like a true fan. Plus, there wasn’t an opening act to make fun of. I wanted to see that too (It was supposed to be LMFAO).
But this all came crashing down last week. It hurt. It hurt bad. And while I know that Ke$ha was off doing bigger and better things (some kind of international MTV concert or something), I was still crushed. But it didn’t hit me until the next day, when I was riding home. As I was getting off the expressway, I heard one of her songs come on the radio, and it was painful because all I could think about was the rejection. I couldn’t enjoy the song anymore. It really felt like I had been dumped and everything was reminding me of her. I was in that post-dumping fog again. I place I hadn’t been for so long and thought I would never be again. It sucked.
But unlike when I was in high school (okay, college too. Who am I kidding?), I didn’t stay down in the dumps too long. Because I started to get a little angry. If Ke$ha didn’t want to come around, then fine. Her loss. I think I found myself a hot rebound girl, musically speaking. Her beats are just as funky and her lyrics just as catchy. Maybe even more so. Plus, she is more fresh on the scene (her first album drops September 20th, not that I am counting the seconds or anything). So out with the old and in with the new. I’m moving on. I don’t even remember ol’ glittery whatshername. Until she decides to come back to Indy. Then. like a lovestruck teenager, I will totally throw all common sense to the wind and be the first person in line for tickets. I mean, I already have all of this glitter and blue lipstick. I can’t just let it go to waste. Sure I am just setting myself up for heartbreak again. But that’s what happens when you get dumped.